Boys To MEN

My heart has been heavy. Heavy with grief that our boys will become all that our society views as normal male behavior. Though I’ve watched men act in their lust quite often, this past week it burdened me profoundly.

I choose to emphasize on boys because the truth of the matter is that when it comes to infidelity and uncontrolled lust, they are more at risk.

75% of internet porn users are men. As many as 93.2% of boys [in comparison to] 62.1% of girls first see porn before they turn 18.

Will they be part of the 75%? Will they be okay with it? Will they think, “I don’t do it often. It’s okay. It’s what men do”?

When I consider what God called man to be in the Garden of Eden, a provider and protector, I see how much sin has removed the male figures in our lives from God’s initial calling. In fact, the first mistake Adam committed was that he failed to protect his wife from the serpent’s deceit.

“So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate.” Genesis‬ ‭3:6‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Adam watched her eat the forbidden fruit and he ate too. And still today, men fail to protect their women from the perverse slurs of other men, from their derogatory comments….from themselves.

They’ve fail to protect them as they undress them in their minds and lust for them in their hearts, having them become objects for possession and pleasure, rather than the givers of life they were called to be by God. And if they do give life, they step back because now the commitment became too real, and they were only planning for momentary lustful pleasures, not life altering baby-momma-drama.

When I consider what marriage means, a holy unity before God, a commitment of faithfulness, I am torn by the fact that we are bombarded by images of sex and nudity which infiltrate the purity and beauty of marriage.

Our boys, who should’ve become respectful men, faithful husbands, and present fathers, are now indulging in pornography despite their vows of respect and love to their wives, scrolling and liking images of nude/barely clothed women on social media without any sense of remorse, and abandoning their responsibilities as fathers though they felt men enough to partake in the very act that creates life.

As husbands, their vows are tainted, feeble, without true devotion to the words pronounced at the altar, “to love you and to cherish till death do us part.”

This too is for the unmarried (or uncommitted, if you happen to not believe in marriage) because truthfully it’s a practice of self-control that must be implemented before you commit to someone. The act of marriage will NOT put to death the lusts of the flesh.

I consider the idea of one day becoming a wife. My prayer is that I would be honored and respected, not just by what my husband chooses to do, but by what he chooses not to do. The thought that my husband would intentionally expose himself to sexualized images tears me to my innermost, and I have yet to meet the man!

But I remain hopeful, because, even though I witnessed my own father fail miserably as a husband, I have been incredibly blessed to be surrounded by many great examples of godly husbands who have admitted their weaknesses and fled when necessary (like real deal RAN out of the train because what stood before his eyes would’ve sparked his imagination….& if you lusted for another in your heart you’ve already committed adultery. Too extreme? Talk it out with Jesus. He said it, not I.) This is the level of faithfulness I expect, because it is the level of faithfulness I will choose to give. I will CHOOSE. I will make the choice everyday to turn away from all things that ignite my lust for anyone else other than my husband.

I cry out for the boys in my church. I pray they would seek God-fearing role models of what it means to be men of integrity and fidelity. I pray they would strive [I say strive in every sense of the word because their sinful nature will wage war, as it does within us all] to put to end for themselves the viscous cycle of this world’s twisted perception of sex that has contaminated our minds and normalized our sin.

What will we teach our boys as they become men? I plead with you, what will we teach them?………..

With a heavy heart,


***My next post will dig a little deeper into the issue of pornography. To continue this conversation, please follow for an email update once it’s published!***